But sometimes, life catches up to you.
Sometimes you have to prepare for an international move. You have to sell everything you own and pack what’s left into exactly six, fifty pound bags.
You have to sell your car – at the right time of course because there will be a lot of necessary running around in those final days, shutting off utilities, collecting deposits, closing bank accounts. It’d be nice to have the car for this. And the kids don’t necessarily want to ride a hot, crowded bus for their last week of school.
You have to live in the transition too. Saying goodbye. Looking ahead. Living in between.
And the name of this blog is also reflects a major source of stress. I am working to cobble together an income for our return, to get my online ventures off and running so that we don’t have to move into a van down by the river. I have massive vision and am running on the wake of hundreds of encouraging words about what I am doing to help folks learn languages, but it doesn’t yet pay the bills.
It will one day, I have no doubt of that, but not yet.
And so stress has been creeping into my life. I don’t always recognize it until it shows up physically – recurring upset stomach, sore back, inability to fall asleep.
But in one way, I enjoy the stress – well, not actually enjoy it, but appreciate it. It forces me to stop, to slow down and identify what is most important and let the rest go. The world won’t skid to a halt if everything on my plate doesn’t get accomplished.
But as a dad, I am the only dad my kids have. My wife only has one husband. The stress, while not easy, forces me to focus and to live more intentionally and to take more time to spend with them, to live well with them.
Stress offers the gift of perspective, drawing me back to all that is really important, forcing me to step away from my independence and whisper help to the only one who can.
For this I am thankful.